Thursday, November 01, 2007

Whiskerino 2007!

What do Zeus, John Lennon and Jesus have in common? It's the beard!

Whiserino 2007 is here! Check it out!

So, if you are man enough (or if you are a woman with good paper skills) I invite you to join me on this 4 month journey into manhood. Bond with me over our comman face hair. Go here to sign up.


The contest will officially run from November 1st, 2007 until least February 29th, 2008. Participants unable to fulfill this time period will have their accounts placed within the Whiskerino Hall Of Shame. Participation is still highly encouraged for any amount of time during these dates.

You must be clean shaven (see Figure 26). This rule is the foundation of a proper Whiskerino. Allowable hair types: eyebrows, eyelashes, sideburns, nose hair, ear hair. Sideburns must be trimmed to the earlobe (see here for a fine example). Banned hair types: mutton chops, goatee, neck hair, moustaches. No exceptions.

According to Parker Brothers Beyond Balderdash the definition of a whiskerino is "a beard growing contest." Participation in the North American Free Beard Agreement Whiskerino denotes that the participant will grow a beard. Refusal to grow a beard is not in the spirit of the contest. Note: Testerone levels differ in every male and all levels of growth, regardless of density and coverage, are encouraged. As long as the participant is not shaving the participant is growing a beard.

Trimming or shaping of hair growth is highly frowned upon. Participants are highly encouraged to let their beards follow their natural path. 'Sculpting' will be questioned and must be kept to a minimum.

By supplying a photo for upload and display during Whiskerino 2007 the participant enters into an agreement stating the following:

* The photo is, in fact, the participant
* The photo has not been altered by digital means in regard to enhancing beard growth, shape, or density.
* The photo may not contain added text, graphics, or clipart unless in participation with a themed day (this includes iSight camera effects, Photoshop filters and their ilk).

Images supplied by the participant must be in JPEG format sized no smaller than 500 pixels in width cropped to a 4 x 3 aspect ratio (see Figure 73). Photos may not contain profane gestures, nudity, hateful imagery, or turkey sandwiches.

Only one image per day may be submitted to the North American Free Beard Agreement Whiskerino 2005. Submission of more than one image per day will result in the previous submitted image to be overwritten and all comments and ratings for that image removed but do what chu gotta do breh.

Failure to comply with the North American Free Beard Agreement Whiskerino 2007 rules and regulations will result in the participants account to be sequestered into the Hall Of Shame. Participants placed within these shameful halls will no longer have access to their account and, thus, image upload will be forever suspended for them. Ridiculing members of the Hall Of Shame is not only allowed but highly encouraged.

Upon completion of the contest there will be official ceremonies announcing the winner. Winning beards will be determined by a variety of criteria including: Beard Official opinions, ratings, overall participation, attendance, beard style, and spirit. Note: Immense facial hair density, girth, and coverage does not neccasarily determine winner. Spirit and Beard Fellowship are the highest ranked criteria according to the North American Free Beard Agreement.

1 comment:

~ jessica said...

Um.... how does your wife feel about this? LOL!